What we refuse to see...

What we refuse to see will 
always trip us.







I am sooo... dead. She hands me her cellphone as she plops on the couch.
"Dear Mary, please accept my sincerest congratulations on the death of your mother", I read in an email. Oops!

I sent this to my sister in law, she tells me and what puzzles me is the little smirk in the corner of her mouth.
Would this be the sister in law who told your husband to speak to his head doctor when he announced his engagement to you?
Now the smirk broadens. You don't say...? She starts and then she bursts into uncontrollable laughter.

Our complexes, like naughty goblins, play impish tricks on us: Innocent slip of the tongue, forgetting the name of the person we are just about to introduce, congratulating a mourner on the death of a loved one. But, sometimes their tricks are life threatening ones, like picking the same abusive partner over and over again.

Our neurosis, and we all have them, are our blind spots. What we refuse, out of fear, to see will trip us over and over again and trap us in our version of
Groundhog's Day.

In Searchg of our Shadow

How can I be substantial if I don't cast a shadow?
I must have a shadow side also if I am to be whole
C.G.Jung

The Mantra of our times reverberating everywhere from pop psychology books to yoga rooms to inspirational/ motivational talks is: Think positive, avoid negativity in all its forms, and befriend people who exude positive energy.  All this is great and I fully endorse it, with one provision that on the surface appears contradictory, but it is not: We need to search, find and intimately acquaint ourselves with our own shadow, our own negative side.

The negative, harmful, hateful side of us which we  turn a blind eye to is the evil we will project, see and punish in our neighbors, spouse, friends. But most of all our shadow will often trip us when we try to pursue our goals, trap us when we yearn for freedom, betray us in our pursuit of love.

All of us will do just about anything possible to avoid looking at our negative side. But unless and until we do, we are doomed to repeat the most painful parts of our past.